I don't know what kind of life I want to make for myself, or if I want to make any sort of life at all.

I'm here today at 20, but that doesn't mean I'll be here at 23.
I haven't found a reason to die, but that doesn't mean I've found a reason to live, either.

I never wanted to move out, start a career, meet someone, settle down, start a family...
I still don't. This is the American Dream; the idealized life style of so many humans; and I don't get why. Nothing in that seems alluring...it all seems rather frightening, to me.

That's one path I don't want to go down...but, the problem is, I don't know which direction I want to go in, or if I want to go in any at all.

Because staying here means staying in this skin. I still hate this body; it's still the physical representation of everything that is wrong with me. Everything that I hate about myself is displayed in my physical features.

I have to either learn to live with myself, or make the grand exit.