I'm really conflicted and I don't know what to do anymore.

You know what this feels like,

it feels like this song.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_famhCXg36A&feature=related

Every second beat feels like my soul merging and splitting apart, over and over.
One (whole)
Two (split)
Three (whole)
Four (split)

Peace, relaxation, oneness

Boom, split.

I'm together, I'm apart, I'm together, I'm apart

and it doesn't stop after 4 minutes and 50 seconds, it keeps going. On repeat.

I'm okay, and then I'm not. I'm one, and then I'm two.

I don't know who I am anymore, I don't know what I want. I'm so fucking confused and the relationships I'm developing only make it worse.

I wasn't built to be social. I wasn't made to connect with other people. It fucking hurts and it's too much for me. I'm a screw that doesn't fit in any hole.
I can keep my distance and laugh at the right times and even sometimes feel like "yeah, I've made a connection here"
but I'm a fucking schizoid.


That's how I feel when I'm in two pieces.


I don't feel like that when I'm whole. But I'm only whole half of the time!

A quarter of it!

I don't know what the fuck to do anymore.